Traps Pt. 7- The Trap of Harboring Hurt

March 03, 2024 00:44:09
Traps Pt. 7- The Trap of Harboring Hurt
Village Church East: Sermons
Traps Pt. 7- The Trap of Harboring Hurt

Mar 03 2024 | 00:44:09

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Show Notes

Do we trust God enough to handle those who wronged us? Hurt is bound to happen, but the way in which we deal with it determines who we trust. Our lives are a harbor, ships of hurt come in frequently, but its up to us whether or not we deal with it or let it stay. In order to truly rid our lives of pain, we have to release it all to God. Since God gives us what we don't deserve, we must do the same to others and forgive as Christ forgave us. 

 

Pastor: Craig Jarvis

Date: March 3, 2024

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] It. [00:00:01] Well, I'm excited to do this particular message because this is one in our trap series that we've been talking about the ways that the evil one tries to trap us. I mentioned this before, like when you're trapping something, you got to make it look tempting. You got to make it look maybe normal. You got to make it look like it's not even there. Like camouflage it so whoever's coming along, what little animal you want to get or whatever you want to trap doesn't see it coming. [00:00:32] In the trap series, we've been talking about the way that the evil one does this and one of the greatest things that he's ever done. I think, in my opinion, one of the greatest traps he's ever laid for this world is to convince the world he doesn't exist. [00:00:49] Because if you don't know he exists, you don't know who you're up against. [00:00:54] But he is fine. He is well and he is active. And the Bible says this in various different ways. We don't wrestle against flesh and blood. It says we don't have a physical enemy. We have a spiritual enemy. And Satan's goal is to get you apathetic and ineffective in your life. [00:01:11] He doesn't care how much money you have. He doesn't care how much comfort you have. You can go straight to hell with all the stuff you want. [00:01:19] His goal is to make you ineffective. [00:01:22] He's pulling out all the stops to make sure that christians and churches live with very little power and very little authority to make an impact. And he'll do this. We've already talked about this. If you want to catch up with it with us. January was full of all these different traps, ideas. But he'll do this through delusion, deception, seared consciences. You remember all of this that we talked about. [00:01:46] The spirit expressly says this. Look at this verse in one Timothy four, verse one. Now the spirit, this is a spirit of God. The spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to. Here you go. Deceitful spirits and teachings of demons. And they will seep in all these different ways to get you in particular, because if he can get you, he can get your family, get your community, he can get into culture. [00:02:20] And his goal is to make you ineffective and impotent in your life. [00:02:26] And one way that he tries to do this is miraculously, somehow he gets us on his side. [00:02:34] So today I want to talk about one particular way that he does that, that everyone in here has participated in. Everyone online watching right now has been a participant in this one particular trap that he sets. We've all fallen for it, which makes it a little insidious. Right? [00:02:55] I grew up in Halifax. It's a harbor town northeast of Maine. This is Halifax right there. See? Halifax. Okay, I'm going to just do this real quick. I'm not supposed to do this, but my house is right up here. All right, so that's where I grew up. That's Halifax. Halifax. See that little harbor right there? Actually, it's a big harbor. It's the largest ice free harbor in the world. Natural ice free harbor in the world. This is a natural place. [00:03:27] I probably shouldn't say this, but when the English Canadians burned down the white house, this is where they park their boats in order to go down there and do it. So, just so you know, if you've ever wondered about that, this is where they came from. Just so you know, this actually is a beautiful town. I love this town. But the docks are really interesting because at these docks, you have these huge boats, and each one, this harbor provides, like, a safety zone for them to bring in all of their gear, all of their equipment, all of their stuff that they're going to be selling, and they offload stuff, and they onload stuff. [00:04:10] The two things that they do when they dock their ships and bring in their cargo, this gives them a safe place so that they can park and they can offload and they can unload and take things away with them. And if there's ever a problem, there's a coast guard, and the coast guard makes sure that all the ships that are there are supposed to be there. And if there's ever any ships that aren't supposed to be there, they guard the harbor and make sure that they don't come in. You just don't want any ship to be sitting in your harbor. You don't want to just have any kind of cargo make its way into your city. You want to be really careful about what you allow in and what you allow out. [00:04:51] Church. Have you ever thought that maybe our minds work the same way? [00:04:55] You ever thought about what you offload and onload and how that gets protected or unprotected in your brains? [00:05:03] We dwell on stuff constantly that can hurt us. In fact, we kind of like it sometimes we park those ships in the harbor of our mind, and we unload a bunch of stuff that is not good for us and only creates deeper hurt. And we offload only a few things when in reality, maybe we should be offloading more we dwell on things that can hurt us and we release things that maybe can help. Listen to this. I think some ships we dock in our harbors can be Satan's trojan horses to bring stuff into our lives we are not prepared for. [00:05:44] I think this is the trap. And the thing is, we think it's natural. We think it's so normal to dwell on things when we're hurt, to dwell on things when we are misused, to dwell on things when we're spoken badly against and we let it sit in the harbors of our minds. [00:06:04] And I think that's the trap. Something happens to us and we can't get it out of our heads. Has that ever happened to you? [00:06:13] Like somebody says something about you and you just can't stop thinking about it. Somebody does something to you and it's the first thing you start thinking about in the morning. It's the last thing you think about at night. [00:06:27] Somebody misuses you so that they can get ahead in their jobs and you carry this hurt inside of you. You unload it. You don't offload it. You let that ship come in and it just sits there and it stews in our heart. Somebody lets us down, they hurt us, and we just can't let it go again. This seems like the most normal thing in the world. And it's promoted in our society. Every show you turn on on tv promotes the idea of, if you're hurt, you deserve to remain hurt and they deserve to get their payback. [00:07:10] Specifically, when we're hurt by a comment or action, we harbor the hurt. [00:07:16] I want to tell you something. I'm going to be very transparent, this world, somewhat transparent this morning. This affects me constantly. I could come in here and do a sermon on Sunday and like 95% of you go, Craig, that's the best sermon I ever heard. And you're on your way out. And I'm going, oh, good, thank the Lord I'm still able to be used. Moron that I am, the Lord could still use me. But if I come in here in five minutes before the sermon, somebody says to me, we have to talk afterwards, there's something that we need to get straight. [00:07:44] You know what I'm going to think about the rest of the day? I'm going to think about that one comment, not the 95% of joy that was shared with me. [00:07:55] It comes natural. [00:07:58] We are birthed into this world, thinking to ourselves that this is the most normal thing in the world. And I'm here to tell you, the Bible speaks a lot about this. I've got like 80 slides this morning and I had to cut them down because there are so many verses about this, about God, how he knows this is an issue for us and how he wants to help us. And simply put, God tells me this church, some ships are not to be welcomed in the harbor of my mind. [00:08:30] I am not to welcome them. I am to power wash those thoughts out of my mind because if I give them harbor, they will hurt me. [00:08:41] God gives us a tool to power wash. [00:08:44] So the question is, what boats have you let into the harbor of your mind? What are sitting there right now? What is the hurt that you almost protect because it gives you a sense of justice? [00:09:01] You can't control the ships that show up. Let me just be very clear about that. Somebody's going to hurt you tomorrow, somebody might hurt you today. You can't control the ships that show up, but you can control which ones you let dock. [00:09:15] Let me give you a verse two, corinthians 210. [00:09:19] Paul's writing to the church at Corinth and he writes to them and he says, anyone whom you forgive, I will also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I've forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ so that we would not be, and this is really key, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his designs. Let me give you a better background about this, all right? Paul has been hurt by somebody in this church. [00:09:50] Somebody that is going to this church has hurt Paul. And because they hurt Paul, there's a bunch of people that are hurt in the church too. They're like you picking on Paul. Paul's our boy. Don't you pick on Paul. They're hurt too. Hurt is spreading in the corinthian church. Paul takes advantage of this to teach them a very interesting lesson, to inform the corinthian church about a trap that the evil one is constantly getting us to fall into. I love the fact too that he said, could you give me the slide right before this if you wouldn't mind? Megan? Yeah. [00:10:20] Anyone whom you forgiven, I also forgive indeed, if I've forgiven anything has been for your sake in the presence of Christ. In other words, I have released this to Jesus. [00:10:31] I have forgiven them in the presence of Christ. I can't forgive them myself because it hurt me. But with Jesus'help, I'm releasing this. [00:10:39] And it's for your sake is also interesting. Next one. This is for your sake so that we are not outwitted by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his designs. Now, the word that I really want to park on is that word designs. That word designs in the Greek is neomai, which means mind. It literally means a psychological facility of understanding, reasoning, thinking and deciding. It's your mind. [00:11:09] But it's more than that. It's like a way of thinking. It's like I went to school in the south. And the way they use the word mind is they use it as a verb. I've got half a mind to pull this car over right now. [00:11:22] Right? [00:11:23] That's what this verse is saying. The kind of mind that you engage, what your capacity is, the way you think about something. This is the same word as designs. [00:11:37] God's design for my life are in direct conflict with Satan's designs for my life. Let me give you another verse. Philippians four eight. [00:11:49] Probably some of you know this is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Finally, brothers, whatever's true, whatever's honorable, whatever's just, whatever is pure. Don't you like this list already? Right. Whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise. Would you read those last four words for me, please? Think on these things. [00:12:14] The ships we allow into our harbor should be bearing that cargo. [00:12:20] That cargo. [00:12:22] Let those ships in. Offload that onto your dock. These are the things you are to be thinking about. [00:12:30] And it's interesting. Philippians four eight says, here's the cargo you let in. Here's the cargo. [00:12:37] This is the cargo you live by. But you know what Philippians four seven says? Philippians four seven. The verse right before this says that God is your coast guard. Look at this. The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts. And guess what church? [00:12:56] Your Naomi's. Your minds in Christ Jesus. God will guard your mind. [00:13:03] God will guard the designs of your heart. Same word. God will fight against the designs of the evil one by giving you a new mind to do, to dwell on different things. [00:13:15] God knows we're going to need help on this, which is why I love Philippians four, seven and eight, because our minds are quick to harbor negative thoughts and hurtful emotions. [00:13:27] But God promises to be docked at the entrance of our mind, constantly paroling to see what ships should be docked and what ships should be kicked out. [00:13:37] God promises he can give us the peace that will guard our hearts and minds. He knows we're going to need help. So what kind of peace will you get? Church. Where does this peace come from? [00:13:50] The peace of what? [00:13:52] If you want a peace that passes all understanding in this world. The peace of God is there for you. The peace of God will guard your hearts and mind. Our natural instinct is to harbor hurt. [00:14:06] When we're hurt, we want to sit in it, we want to stew in it. We want it to sadly take over our lives. [00:14:18] But that is giving power to the evil one, and that is Satan's design for us. [00:14:24] God's design is not that. God's design is to guard our hearts and minds with a peace that passes understanding. Because if we don't, we're aiding and we're abetting the enemy. [00:14:36] Look at Ephesians 426, same chapter. Go down to the end. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no. What church? Give no opportunity to the devil. Isn't that interesting? [00:14:54] When you let those thoughts come in, when you let wrath sit, when you let anger stew, you give the devil an opportunity. [00:15:05] Now, not all anger is bad, but anger harbored in your heart will become very dangerous because it will birth a heart of unforgiveness. And when that happens, the devil will not get off your dock. He will begin to like it there. He'll offload all of his negativity in your life, and he'll set up shop on your docks. And you will have a heart of bitterness that follows you like nobody's business. [00:15:34] Your life becomes infected. Your gifts become infected. The fruit of the spirit, forget that that's gone. Remember the fruit of the spirit. Think of the fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, meekness, gentleness, self control, all gone. When you let those boats come in, when you let those ships come in and you begin to harbor resentment and hurt and anger, the first thing that goes is all of the fruit of the spirit. Leave your life. [00:16:06] There's no love. [00:16:08] There's no joy, there's no peace. [00:16:12] There's very little patience. [00:16:14] There's little understanding. There's little anything of what God wants to give to us. [00:16:20] Bitterness is like a snowball. [00:16:23] The next verse. Look at this. Ephesians 431, a couple of verses down. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Look at that list, because that is a snowball. What do I mean by that? Here's what I mean by that. Follow me, if you would, please. [00:16:43] The first thing that comes along is bitterness. I'm hurt. Let the ships dock. I'm going to keep it to myself. I'm going to let it hang, and that will turn into wrath. Wrath is the first thing comes along unchecked. Bitterness will turn into wrath. They hurt me. I hope they get theirs. [00:17:02] They deserve it. I don't deserve it. They deserve it. I want them to hurt. Wrath will turn into anger. This is where I hope they actually are in physical pain. I want them to be in pain of some kind. I am hoping things fall on their heads. Little pots of plants fall on their heads as they walk along the sidewalk. I'll pray for those sort of. Maybe their plane will go down and that'll serve them right. [00:17:30] I think about them constantly. I'm angry, and I want them to know it. The third thing that comes along is clamor. Do you know what clamor means? Clamor is a loud and contentious noise. In other words, I want the world to know that I'm hurt. And I want the world to know they hurt me. [00:17:49] I often exaggerate. [00:17:52] I lay around all day complaining about them, and I complain about them loudly. I'll even type what I need to type on social media in order for other people to think badly about them like I do. Next thing that comes along is slander. Slander is the idea that now I want other people to hurt them. I'm not just happy with flower pots landing on their heads. I'm hoping other people hate them as much as I do and make their lives miserable to do that. I'll often exaggerate about the pain that I'm feeling so that I can get other people on my side. I want groups to dislike them the way that I dislike them. And I actually find joy when I hear other people talk badly about them. And then the next thing that comes along is malice. Malice is I'm intentionally looking to harm them. This is slash the tires in the parking lot kind of behavior. [00:18:44] I want to ruin them physically. [00:18:48] It may be just me, or I will gather others, but I want the world to hurt them for what they've done to me. I want them destroyed. [00:18:57] All of that starts with one word. And what's the word that it starts with? [00:19:03] Bitterness. Let that ship dock in your harbor and watch the snowball that takes place. [00:19:11] Listen, there is a solution to all of this. And the solution is one word. Release. Could you say that word with me, if you would, please? Say it. One. One word. And what is it? [00:19:22] Release. [00:19:23] Release. [00:19:25] Ephesians 432. The next verse says, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. [00:19:44] The release. [00:19:46] This word releases charismae. In the Greek, means nothing to you, but it will once I give you the definition. It means to hand something over to the control of someone else. [00:19:57] The idea of forgiving is to say, you know what? I'm releasing this into the control of somebody else. And guess who you give it to. The control. Guess who you give control to. Can you guess? I bet you can guess who's the coast guard? [00:20:12] God. You give control over to God. You let God handle this. [00:20:19] The challenge here is our fallen hearts will resist this at every turn. [00:20:24] We want justice. [00:20:29] We want vindication. [00:20:33] But what are my options really, church? As a follower of Jesus, what are my options? Let me just give you a simple question. What would Jesus do? [00:20:42] I hate that question, don't you? Because we don't know what Jesus would do. Or do we? When Jesus was being nailed to the cross, what did he pray for those that were hurting him? [00:20:54] Do you remember? [00:20:56] He prayed for them. He said, father, forgive them, because they have fallen into the designs, the traps of the evil one. They don't know what they're doing. [00:21:08] So father, forgive them. [00:21:13] Do you want to know Satan's ultimate scheme? Satan's scheme is to plan to use anything to drive a wedge between you and the gospel living through you. [00:21:24] He will use anything to drive a wedge between you and the gospel that lives and is supposed to live through you. And bitterness is where that wedge begins. [00:21:35] Bitterness is the pointy edge to that little thing you throw under the door to keep it open. [00:21:42] Bitterness is the opposite of God as I spend my time wishing somebody would get theirs. Listen, we even have phrases for it in our culture today. Why don't you go to, oh, you've heard this before, haven't you? Come on, are we all whitewashed christians here? Why don't you go to hell? [00:22:05] We even have a phrase for it and we use it constantly in our culture. [00:22:12] Do you think God wants anyone to go to hell? By the way, I'll give you a verse two. Peter, three, nine. The Lord is not slow fulfilled his promise, as some count slowness, but he is patient toward you. Read it with me. Not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. [00:22:31] Bitterness will drive us to the place where we just want people to burn in hell. And it is so far away from God's heart it is shocking. [00:22:41] Back to ephesians four. [00:22:44] Paul says, now this I say and testify to the Lord that you must no longer walk as the gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. Do you know what the word minds there is designs don't walk anymore in the futility of those designs. Verse 18. They are darkened in their understanding. They are alienated from the life God provides because of the ignorance that is in them due to their hardness of heart. They don't understand the gospel. They fall into these traps constantly because this is what comes normal. It looks like a normal path and they fall into the path. And bitterness breeds hurt and hurt breeds pain. [00:23:21] I did a funeral for one family once. I still can remember this funeral. [00:23:26] One of the sisters came up to me and she said, craig, I just want you to know when we go to the front and sit down, I am not sitting by my sister. I said, okay, you can sit wherever you want, but why won't you sit by your sister? She's flying in from all these thousands of miles to be at your mother's funeral. Why wouldn't you sit with her? I haven't talked to her in 20 years. [00:23:45] Why you haven't talked to her in 20 years? She's your sister. You haven't talked to her in 20 years? No, something happened 20 years ago and I refuse to talk to her. And I'm going, well, what the heck happened? [00:23:57] It must have been devastating what happened? I don't remember, but I'm not talking to her and I haven't talked to her for 20 years. [00:24:04] I don't remember you. This is the life that is alienated from God. This is the life the gospel cannot work through. This is the wedge Satan is looking at, shoving under the doorstop of your life to get you to be impotent for the gospel. [00:24:26] Verse 21, next verse. For we have heard about him and we were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus. In other words, we are learning about Jesus now. And the thing we're learning is to put off your old self. Verse 22, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds. Guess what that word is? To renewed in the spirit of your designs. The stuff what you have a mind to do and to be put on the new and to put on the new self created after the likeness of God and renewed in righteousness and holiness, we to be remade differently into something that we were not before. Listen, George, we are to be, Elsa. We are to be let it go kind of people. [00:25:16] The evil one wants us to hang on, harbor it, hang on to it, let it stew. [00:25:21] And the only thing that does is the only thing it does is it hurts us. [00:25:27] And there are levels of bitterness just like there are levels of forgiveness I want to tell you about. Well, we've already talked about the levels of bitterness, the snowball. Let me talk to you about the levels of forgiveness. There are two words the Bible uses to talk about this idea of forgiveness in scripture. And both of them mean release. Both of them do, but different ways. [00:25:49] The first one is aphaesis. This means letting go of the initial wrong done to me without demanding justice. This is the initial place we start. This is where we begin to offer release. [00:26:02] This is in Ephesians one seven. In him, we have the redemption through his blood, the forgiveness, Ephesus of our trespasses according to the riches of his grace. This means when we ask God for forgiveness, boom, we get it. That's the first level. It doesn't matter what we've done. God is waiting to give us forgiveness. This, by the way, is the same word used in the Lord's prayer. This one you know, right? Do you know the Lord's prayer is like a really spooky prayer to do. [00:26:31] Don't believe me? Look at it. Matthew 612, and forgive us, aphaesis, same word. Forgive us our sins, our debts, as we also have forgiven. Same word, aphaesis, as we have forgiven our debtors. Do you know what that's saying? You are praying that God will forgive you at the same level you forgive others. [00:26:58] Scary, right? [00:27:00] How quick are you to forgive others? [00:27:06] God is ready in an instant to forgive. If we confess our sins. He is faithful, he is just, and he will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteous. But how anxious are we to forgive? And in the Lord's prayer, we're saying, Lord, please use my standard of forgiveness as your standard of forgiveness. [00:27:31] Shocking, but this is the gospel. And I would say that this is simply, if you want to put it in a phrase, take a picture of this, because it is brilliant. This is not giving them what they do deserve. Do you know what that means? [00:27:47] They deserve to be hurt because they hurt you. They deserve to suffer because they made you suffer. This first level of forgiveness is not giving them what they do deserve. [00:28:01] Every one of us deserves to be burning in hell for all eternity. God does not give us what we do deserve. And church, we give to other people, we do not give them what they do deserve. They may deserve the worst we have to dish out, but we give them affami. We give them forgiveness. [00:28:25] We do not give them what they do deserve. They may deserve to be beaten with a stick for a while because of what they've done. We do not give them what they do deserve. But there is another level, and it does also still mean release. It is the word charismae. This is one of my new favorite words because Charismai reminds me of one of my daughters. [00:28:51] Charismai means release. This is the further idea of graciously living out the forgiveness as an act of kindness. The first level is saying, I forgive you. I will not give you what you do deserve, justice. I will give you forgiveness. The second level is, I will live with you as though you have been forgiven. [00:29:14] Ephesians 432, be kind to one another. This is the passage we read earlier. [00:29:19] Be kind to one another. Tender hearted, forgiving Charismai one another as Christ, as God in Christ, forgave you, church. How does God treat us after he forgives us? [00:29:36] How does God treat us after he forgives us? [00:29:39] Does he ever wake us up in the middle of the night and go, just a second, let's go over this again. You really did a bad sin. I'm pulling my spiritual baseball bat out and I'm making your life miserable at this point. Does he ever do that? [00:29:54] He lives with us after he forgives us. He lives with us like we're family. [00:30:01] This is the second level of forgiveness. And the reason why it reminds me of my daughter is because Charismae has an interesting root word to it. Do you know what the word is? [00:30:13] Charis. And you know what charis means? [00:30:16] Grace. [00:30:20] Grace is giving them what they do not deserve. [00:30:26] One, I don't demand justice. I let them off the hook. Two, I give them what they do not deserve. I pull them in and I act like nothing happened. [00:30:39] Now that's tough, right? [00:30:43] Grace holds the power of release. [00:30:45] When you are able to forgive like this, guess what happens? You take the power of Satan away. [00:30:51] Take it away. He is powerless with that kind of living. [00:30:58] Tips on forgiving listen, be discerning. Number one, stop taking everything so seriously. [00:31:07] You have said stuff to tick off at least five people this past week is my guess. [00:31:15] I have said stuff that has ticked off. I'm sure more than that this past week, I am sure I have inadvertently or mistakenly said something to offend somebody. [00:31:31] And you know what my expectation is when I do that? You know what my expectation of you is? [00:31:36] Stop taking it so seriously. But when we wear our hearts on our sleeves, we go, yeah, you hurt me and I'm going to hurt you. [00:31:48] Listen, it is not a sin to hurt someone because we do it all the time. The sin is hanging on to the hurt the sin is driving the hurt in. We all make mistakes. Mistakes are not sins. Sin is hanging onto it and doing something. It is docking it and using the cargo for our own benefit. [00:32:11] Sometimes I do it because I have an issue. Sometimes I'm negligent by accident. Sometimes it's on purpose. Discerning the difference is important. Number two, I need to decide to forgive the way that the gospel tells me to forgive. And I want to thank Brent for this. [00:32:26] Brent does, I don't know if you know this. Brent does conferences on forgiveness and how to forgive and that kind of thing. And I love what he teaches. And so I stole this from Brent, actually. He sent it over to me, so he gave it to me. [00:32:40] This is good. I will not dwell on this incident. I will not bring this incident up and use it against you. I will not talk to others about this incident. I will not allow this incident to stand between us. That is true forgiveness in the gospel's design. This is the mind that we are to have. Why? Because this is Christ's mind for us. [00:33:06] Now is this possible? No, it is not. That's why the Bible talks so much about this. We need a coast guard. We need help. We need help to figure out what we should onload and what we should offload. Because only Christ will give us the designs, the mind to live like that. And if you can live like that, if you can live out the gospel like that, you will not be a hurt person. [00:33:34] You will be a victorious person. [00:33:38] And number three, defer. Listen, give the rest to Jesus. [00:33:44] Show grace in all things. Trust that God is able to handle whatever falls out. [00:33:50] It's not a sin to be hurt. It is a sin to harbor the hurt. [00:33:56] Well, Craig, what if somebody never asked me for forgiveness? Or what if they keep on abusing me? Or what is my responsibility? Then I'm glad you asked. Number one, I would say forgive when they ask it. That is non negotiable. Hopefully we've gone over that. I'll give you one more verse. [00:34:13] Colossians 313 says, bearing with one another. And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving charismai, forgiving each other. As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Don't you hate it that God keeps bringing Jesus up on these things as God forgives us? That is your standard of forgiveness. Remember the Lord's prayer. [00:34:35] Remember the Lord's prayer. And number two, release it. Whether they ask for it or not, release it. Your salvation depends on it. If you don't release the hurt, you will be impotent for the gospel of Jesus Christ. Hurt people. Hurt people, and you will be a hurt person. You will not be full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, meekness, gentleness and self control. It will not enter into your dock because you've got another ship docked. And it's a ship of bitterness. [00:35:08] Bitterness is like drinking a poison and hoping the other person dies. [00:35:16] Releasing to God is non negotiable. Let me give you another verse. Romans twelve, verse 17. Repay no one evil for evil. Church, who should we repay evil for evil. No one repay no one evil for evil. But give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with how many people, church? Even those that hurt you. [00:35:42] Beloved, never avenge yourselves. But leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. Offload it. Trust God to take it from here. Don't bear the hurt, because the hurt will kill you. [00:36:01] So what is forgiveness? It's a mandatory exchange. [00:36:05] It's cancellation of relational debt, like the gospel. And it is releasing it to the Lord whether they ask for it or not. If they ask it, give it. If they don't ask it, release it. It's all the same, just release. [00:36:23] Here's some. So what's for you, number one? I am personally responsible for every thought. I think it's true. [00:36:32] If your mind is the largest ice free ship harbor in the world, you are responsible for the ships you let dock. [00:36:41] So what are you letting in? Ephesians four, by the way, the verse that we didn't read on this, Ephesians four, calls this a foothold. The devil is looking to get on us. All he needs is a foothold. [00:36:55] Use somebody at the door with a submachine gun, and they're knocking at your door, and they got a bouquet of flowers and a submachine gun, and they knock at your door, and you don't recognize them, but they say, hey, I got something for you. Will you let me in? Will you let them in? You don't recognize them? Will you let them in? No, you'd be silly, right? You probably will look through the window or a little peephole. [00:37:18] What are you doing here again? But if you open the door just a crack so that they can get their foot in, oh, it's so much easier for them to get in the house. [00:37:30] Don't give the devil a foothold. [00:37:34] In a harbor. Offload is as important as what you onload. You must release the cargo somewhere or to someone. [00:37:43] It's not enough to just forget about something. You can't. It is impossible for us to forget about something. [00:37:50] You have to give it to somebody that you trust. That's why I use the word release and not forget. You can't forget it, but you can release it. [00:37:58] Release it to somebody that you trust. And the question is, church, do I trust God enough to handle those who wrong me? [00:38:06] That is the bottom line. Do I trust God enough to handle those who wrong me? [00:38:13] And I want to tell you, if you need spiritual assistance with this, please come. That's what we have the prayer booth up here for. Like if these messages land on your heart and you're thinking to yourself, I can't leave without dealing with this. God is speaking to me. Come and see us, and we can walk through something. Might need a few coffees together. Might need some work. I don't know. Again, what comes natural is harboring the hurt. What is not natural is living out the gospel. And we can help you with that if you would like us to. But you got to offload the hurt. Remember romans 1218? [00:38:46] Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. My responsibility is two corinthians ten five. The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but have divine power to destroy songholes. For we destroy arguments. We destroy every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. And we take. Read this with me, church, because it's so good. And we take every thought. Noema. Every. Noema. Every design. We take every thought. What's the next word? [00:39:15] Captive. Why? To obey Christ. [00:39:21] We're responsible for every thought. We think you can do one of two things. Let it dock, let it sit, let the hurt offload. Or you can invite God to come in and you can take every thought captive for Christ. Number two. The designs of God clash with the designs of the evil one. [00:39:44] They are not the same. And church. Remember the first verse that we talked about. We are not ignorant of his schemes. We know he's scheming against us and hurt people. Hurt people. God's schemes and the devil's schemes are in contrast to one another. They are not what comes natural. And the key is Satan's design is to get people trapped in their hurt so that the gospel can be stopped in their lives. Let me say that one more time. It is Satan's design to get people trapped in their hurt so the gospel can be stopped in their lives. [00:40:20] You can be a Christian as long as you want, as long as you are impotent with the gospel. [00:40:26] Satan is very interested in trapping your heart in hurt, because there he can remove the power of the gospel from your life. [00:40:33] But the gospel has the power to wash our minds. It is like the power wash to destroy the evil one's power over us. This idea of releasing whatever ails you is giving it over to God so that he can take over and bring the gospel to life in your life again. [00:40:52] To life in your life again. Yeah, it won't make sense to those around you, by the way. They'll look at you and they'll go, you're a pushover. [00:41:01] Oh, you're a carpet. You're a mat. You're just getting abused. [00:41:05] But this will guard the harbor of your mind. Philippians four, seven and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding. [00:41:12] People around you won't understand it, but it will guard your hearts. Coast guard your hearts and your minds. Naomi designs in Christ Jesus. [00:41:22] So church be like, Elsa, should we sing that song to finish with? [00:41:28] Let it go. Let it go. [00:41:33] The big contrast in designs is simply this. I will participate in the designs of the devil to attack the gospel by harboring hurtful ships in my life. [00:41:43] Or do I trust God enough to let him deal with whatever ails me? [00:41:50] Do I trust him enough to deal with the outcome on his own time? [00:41:56] Remember the standard for those who follow Jesus. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Remember, please, you don't need to invite people that are hurting you over to your house for God's sakes. That is not what I'm saying. [00:42:14] Somebody abuses you, please don't hang out with them anymore if that's what you don't want to do. That's not what we're talking about. What we're talking about is what's in here and what's in here. [00:42:26] And if you want to be impotent for the gospel, invite all the hurt ships you want into your harbor. But if you want to be a powerful influence of the gospel and a reminder to people that God forgives us of incredible offenses, then forgive one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. [00:42:47] Release it. [00:42:48] Let God deal with it. [00:42:51] He can make beauty out of the most horrific hurts. I've seen it, and I pray to see it a lot more. [00:42:59] Let's pray. [00:43:01] Lord, we live in a world that loves to harbor hurt. [00:43:06] They teach us that is the normal thing. [00:43:10] There are entire tv shows built on the idea of how to handle people when they hurt you. [00:43:19] It is very natural to us to harbor hurt. But what is not natural is for us to release it to you and let you deal with it on your own time and in your own way. [00:43:31] So, Father, this is a hard one. This is a camouflage trap every one of us falls into at one time or another. [00:43:40] Lord God, help it not to tear away our love and our joy and our peace and our patience. [00:43:48] The kindness that you offer. [00:43:51] Help it not to tear away the fruit of the spirit in our lives. Help us, Father, to give the hurt to you and trust you to deal with it for us. [00:44:01] May we live as people who have truly been freed. [00:44:05] In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

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